gosh.. i'm dead beat.
after so many days of preparation, late nights.. i'm finally done with my marketing report plus presentation.
2 more projects to go.

many thots went thru my mind during this whole period while my brain still had to accommodate to the large amount of info packing in..
well its understandable that everyone has their moments of downside, where they have no choice but to let it out at someone.
nothing happens without a reason.
this is what i've always believe in, and for years this is what i've tried telling myself at times when i feel insulted. It aint easy at all to hide the feelings when you know that you're hurt but because you care about the ppl around you, you still choose to give a smile.
Since young, my forte has been forgiving and forgetting, for the simple fact that humans are flawed.
But yeah. perhaps ppl arnd or even me myself sometimes forget that i am a human too.
i do feel upset, depressed, angry, frustrated juz lik anyone else.
at times i just wonder to myself why do i even bother trying to hide?
why do i have to bow my self-esteem low enough juz for others to walk all over me?
why?
yes. i have to say that being the way i am does give me a good image.. being soft and weak does help to solve problems. But seriously i'm sick and tired of being a nice person. Its bloody tiring to be nice all the time.
and its even more depressing, when you are trying hard to adjust yourself to other ppl's needs and demands and they take you for granted.

everyone in this world gives and takes.
But how many actually remember the things they take?
how many actually forget what they took but not forget what they've given?
i can certainly say, almost everyone. including myself.
but i always remind myself, tat i've to think of what others have put in.. may it be efforts or purely laughter tat they've brought to me, the things that i see in them tat made me treasure them.
The reason why i've always choose to forgive and forget.
It is predestined that we're all born with only THIS amount of time and meet THIS amount of people..
if me being less demanding and more tolerating can bring more love and peace in this lifetime,
No matter how freaking unbearable the insult is... i guess i will still try to face people with a smile.