all of a sudden i just feel so burden in life
constant reminders from an unwelcoming aunt of the importance of money, status, materialistics things juz make me feel so sick.
whats worse is the anticipation of these relatives for me to carry such a mindset.
Is money and status that important a thing in life?
yes i meant money is important... but i dun wish to become a slave of society, work all my life like my unmarried aunt and realised on the day i die that.. hey.. is this what life is all about? what's the meaning to my life?

I wanna choose the way i wanna live, i wanna do something that i'm happy doing, earning money and enjoying life. My poor daddy and mummy been separated since i was barely 4 or 5, to work their way up the rungs of the ladder of society. For a better life, a better future.
because of this reason, i've ended up in the hands of my aunt. Being young, it was good to have someone else to look after. But as i grow older, they expected or rather she expects to reap what she sow. Not only do i have to earn money enough for myself, my parents, i still have a gratitude to return. Perhaps i wouldnt have felt so stressed if my brother and i were sharing this burden, but he aint performing very well currently and this burden is hitting on me hard.

I wanna have a choice in my life. I dun wanna live under someone's careful thought-out route or expectations. But.. can i really do so? i feel so restricted and controlled. Things i wanna do are always subjected to their wants and approval. I'm so sick and tired of such stuff. Yet, i still have an gratitude that i've got to carry till goodness knows when. Can i really be selfish for once, to choose something that is meaningful for me or must i always follow their wants and lead my life according to their standards because i've got to repay their kindness in the little world of mine?