all of a sudden i just feel so burden in life
constant reminders from an unwelcoming aunt of the importance of money, status, materialistics things juz make me feel so sick.
whats worse is the anticipation of these relatives for me to carry such a mindset.
Is money and status that important a thing in life?
yes i meant money is important... but i dun wish to become a slave of society, work all my life like my unmarried aunt and realised on the day i die that.. hey.. is this what life is all about? what's the meaning to my life?

I wanna choose the way i wanna live, i wanna do something that i'm happy doing, earning money and enjoying life. My poor daddy and mummy been separated since i was barely 4 or 5, to work their way up the rungs of the ladder of society. For a better life, a better future.
because of this reason, i've ended up in the hands of my aunt. Being young, it was good to have someone else to look after. But as i grow older, they expected or rather she expects to reap what she sow. Not only do i have to earn money enough for myself, my parents, i still have a gratitude to return. Perhaps i wouldnt have felt so stressed if my brother and i were sharing this burden, but he aint performing very well currently and this burden is hitting on me hard.

I wanna have a choice in my life. I dun wanna live under someone's careful thought-out route or expectations. But.. can i really do so? i feel so restricted and controlled. Things i wanna do are always subjected to their wants and approval. I'm so sick and tired of such stuff. Yet, i still have an gratitude that i've got to carry till goodness knows when. Can i really be selfish for once, to choose something that is meaningful for me or must i always follow their wants and lead my life according to their standards because i've got to repay their kindness in the little world of mine?

A random pic.. this was my piggy boy sleeping when i reach his house in the afternoon..
look closer.. he's kinda sucking his finger.. so adorable! heehee




exams are finally over..
no more camping at borders coffee bean for me
think i'm gonna miss my hazelnut latte and my study-stony buddy.

first plan after exams.... MEGA shopping!
List of things to get:
- heels
-dresses
-facial cleanser from Dermologica
- black or white waist belt
- levis jeans
-short pants
- more more more tops

saw dresses from guess..its so pritty!

i wanna dress lik this! old sch look.. ;p

i haven collect my pay since the last time i worked. that was arnd july?
mum scolded me for giving free labour.. oh well.. at least i'm contributing to the workforce and to the society.
hopefully tomoro i can wake up early to go collect the pay back before meeting pw to shop.. den i spent all my pay on shopping! whoohooo...

oh and dear's mummy bought me this retro pouch with dog prints.. so sweet of her.

its sucks to have moodswings and know that you're having it.
coz ya'll try to control ya emotions and yet ya cant help but feel so fking irritated.
one moment ya feel perfectly fine, and the next moment ya just sink into ultimately sian mood and feel lik tearing at the slightest things..
wat's worse is the blooding throbbing on the tummy.. as if someone is constantly bashing up ya stomach.

so much to add on to a long day with two exams and one disappointment.

ohmigod

i just got involved in a car accident today.

was taking a cab down to sim lim square doing dear a BIG HUGE favour, to collect his sis lappy for him. was barely 1 km from my house (outside borders), and the cab crashed.
i was busy typing msg when suddenly i was bloody thrown forward. n i screamed.
my phone, bag and including my hairband sitting on head flew off.
lucky the taxi is very spacious at the back, if not i would have knock my head into the front seat and suffer from major brain blow and concuss! den my friends would have to come to the hospitals to visit me with my head wrapped up like a xmas pressie.

the crash involved three cars, the taxi was sandwiched between a normal car and a van.
Apparently the car in front jam break because the red lights came on. the taxi driver managed to stop in time but the goodoo van driver happily banged into the taxi. And the van was bloody cutting lane somemore. so the crash impact was on the left rear, right behind where i was sitting. Imagine how big the impact was!~ hell of a asshole driver!
the taxi was rather heavily damaged.
all the lights shattered, both front and back. and the boot area was dented badly. poor driver.
lucky i only suffer minor bruise on my knee and hand. If not i'm gonna freaking sue the driver for his very reckless driving and lousy control of his van..

So ended up, i got off the cab.. walk to the lido taxi stand,
took another cab and continued my journey to sim lim.

what's worse is that after all the trauma..
i still gotta return to my "ever-so-lovely' sociology book in the "ever-so-familiar" coffee bean.


exams offically begins in 2 days time.
yeeks. think this is more frightening and daunting than the crash.

The Orbitary

The path of satellite is all predetermined.
It will always be the moon revolving round the earth.
Never the other way arnd.
Day and night will occur on earth, so regular it becomes natural.

Is this the only way life can be sustained on earth?

if so, den i guess the moon will always be a subset of the earth.

its been a non-stop action of studying.
for the past week, i thot i've been leading my old life, the life without you.
everyday you were so caught up with ya own stuff and me.. busy with my new found frens - books.
at las, today i finally felt you.
i realised what i need wasnt the three words or any other sweet nothings. what i craved was the time that we laugh at smile at each other. all the silly little things we do together.
i know time is a constraint, and i aint asking for alot of ya time. Just enough for me to feel our connection, i'm happy.


"will you ever walk to me if i walk away?"

i think i know the answer now.
thanks for all the effort ya're putting in.
10 yrs down the road is when the real test comes.

South Park - World Of Warcraft Part 2

South Park - World Of Warcraft Part 1

This is freaking funny...Since all the guys are so into WOW. this is a must watch!

Its so undeniable how time can change humans, not only on appearances but substance as well.

and i've just witnessed such a change.

The once innocent and demure has turned to what seems like a spoilt and uncontrollable manipulative mind.

A social butterfly may seems all glam and attractive, like a package of all the good and previleges one can possible own. The ability to assert power over others for the benefit of oneself. But just like a butterfly, its beauty and lifespan are shortlived. There's is a high price to pay. And you'll learn to regret the choice in the way of life you choose to live by. For the impression that people grown to have of you, will last.

To me, bliss is something that you have to build it on your own. If it happens to come by, then u're fortunate. But if you live in your world of high-n-mighty and starts to take such givings for granted, some point of time you'll begin to feel real miserable. As much as you think u're deserving of the special treatment, be sensitive to the feelings of those arnd you.

we celebrated marcus's birthday in a most deadly fashion. just so happens that Halloween is round the corner.

well, first time in my 20 yrs of life, i smell traces of Halloween in the atmosphere.

As the deads loom arnd the function room of Grandeau8, we await our star's arrival- the dead zombie-ish emperor!!

Marcus looks super like those evil zombie that just sprang out of their coffins....lol

and me trying desperately to look like an horrifying egyptian queen that can kill with a deadly stare.....>.<

My darling band major boy (he claims to be a general) and guess what?

my mum says he somehow look quite girly in it... no wonder he attracts gays. =p

think we have experience more than enough to realise that our clique is just not cut out for clubbing activities. time again and again, clubbing turns out real bored and stony.. ppl straying off for private chats, ppl getting pissed with each other over some reasons, ppl stoning at the seats doing totally nothing but breathing in second hand smoke, and ppl getting abandoned and left to rot alone!! =p

then what's the point of going? just because it is a pop culture and trendy to dress up in pretty clothes? why for we go the extra mile of gathering everyone there when all we do is sit there lik ornaments on a shelf waiting to be sold?

i guess i'm so so over this clubbing activity.

****************

this is so cute and funny... why dogs hate halloween!

poor doggies... but i think i'll do the same if i have a dog..heh.

went to the doctor with dear to get his ingrown toe settled on thurs night.

yeeewww... it was such a bloody process.

haha..and the doc seem quite inexperienced.

doc: *pokes the needle into nd's big toe*

nd: ouch!

me: pain?

doc: sorry sorry.

*pokes again*

nd: wa. its quite pain.

doc: sorry.

* jab the bloody big needle for the third time*

after dear's toe seem kinda numb, he took out a knife looking scissors and started sawing into the nail.

me: YUCKS!

nd: *felt the pain hitting his pain threshold, but still trying to bear the pain*

guess what.. the anesthatic did not last for more than a min.

all the jabbing was quite useless.

poor dear just tahan the pain the whole way thru.

and about half his nail got cut off. gross.

i'll kill myself if i were to have an ingrown.

i'll ask the doc to give me the mask so that i'll concuss and not know what happened after.

sat was nd's mummy's birthday.. she treated me to concert again.. how sweet la.

we went to no signboard seafood at kallang for dinner before heading to national stadium.

and she order lobster salad!

(no pic cos the bloody blogger refuse to upload the photos >.<)

wong lee hom's concert was stunning!

he's really one talented artist.

he played the piano, violin, drums, guitar, er hu......

it was more fun that JJ's concert.. more audience's participation and stuff.. not so serious and all.. so people was practically standing up and clapping and singing along with him and stuff.

think he didnt had much rehearsal thou.

it was the first time i actually see someone take out a slip of paper and read off the paper, thanking the sponsors in a concert man... he's the first.

lik how.. erm... umprepared. lol

gosh. the many nights of sleeping late has finally brought down my immune system.

having flu and a bad dry cough. its so irritating cos you just cant stop coughing.

and the week ahead is piled with deadlines for essays, tests, assignments, presentation.

8 page essay with footnote and bibliography....

how am i gonna survived thru this?

help.

dao andy and pouting me

dear just told me stories bout his guy frens who went to visit indecent karaoke lounge.
they wanted to ask him along actually.. how dare they man!
of course, he didnt go or else i'll juz chop him up into million pieces.
dun understand why guys are so desperate for sexual hook ups.. go all the way to geylang to "gao" arnd with girls in the excuse of singing.. total crap.
last time he told me bout those who went for indecent massage parlour and end up paying few hundreds to screw the girl. yeeeeeeww...
haha.. hearing all the funny stories from dear just made me feel so negative of army boys.
is it all these guys can think about? haha..
oh well.. i guess i'll only go geylang for one reason...
to eat their fantastic food.


suddenly remember this lame joke from a joke book, so decided to write it here.


To girls, there are three sizes for guys.


medium, large and OHMIGOD.


To men, there is also only three sizes for girls.


large, medium and size-does-not-matter.




HOLY CRAP.




phew. finally i have one week with less workload.
wx will understand the pain we go through being in a sch.
it kills.
think all my time is just devoted to school work that i hardly have the energy to do other stuff.
wanna go exercise and go shopping and go night safari and go anywhere in singapore but sch!
that day at happy daze, desmond said i grew fatter.
so upset. i mean i know that i'm getting fat. but it just so demoralizing to hear people telling you that you're fat. its just a girl's thing.


DEAR! LETS GO RUNNING......
WEN XIAN!!! GO EXERCISE TOGETHER SOON!
CINDY!! GO SHOPPING SOON!


anyway, it was fun at daze on sat.
i guess everyone didnt had so much fun together for so long.
dear that ass got tipsy and high.

and now he complains he got orh chey all over and kena pinched on his boobs.
wonder which brokeback buddy of his hit on him tat night.

bleah.

i'm beginning to love my green eyes..


went to the cathay to watch "rob-b-hood today
dear's mummy got free tics from the company.

MIGOD!!
the baby in the show was so freaking CUTE!!!
he got super big blue eyes..
super chubby face.. and
super nice smile!!!
i wanna go rob the baby too.

the show has so many guest star starring in it.. jacky chan and louis khoo were the main actors.. den still got daniel wu, nicholas tse, charlene from twins and others...
its so hilarious watching the baby suck jacky chan's nipple la.. and guess how they did it?
they rub some honey onto his nipple and shove it into the baby's mouth. lol...
didnt really expected it to be this good..
they had good fighting scenes, very hair-raising stunts, damn shuai actors ( louis khoo and daniel wu!), freaking cute baby, hilarious scenes but yet touching. Almost teared near the ending.. andy's mummy teared i think.
so yup.. i'll rate it 4/5!

love it.

------

"tell her you are part of the family"

so elated to hear that. haven really felt the feeling of family for a long time. to have the ppl you feel so spiritually connected to, sitting together, eating and laughing.

there's just so many more things i wanna do with this family.

school was crazy.
today i just spent a total of 12 hours in sch.. from 8 am till 8 pm.
only 3 words to describe...
suay
suay
suay!!!
had econs test early in the morning at 8
and i so screwed it up.
then had 4 hours break till my lect from 2-4 followed by my indo singing rehearsal from 4-6 and finally the actual performance from 6-8.... so glad the day is over!




my indo singing performance was quite fun thou.
its like a short skit plus nursery songs...
pw was in the same singing group.. so you can imagine how zao siah the singing is.. lol.
but feedback from ppl was that our performance was the most entertaining! HA!




i shall teach some useful indo words:
berapa harga? - how much?
mahal sekali - very expensive
tidak jadi deh - dun wan anymore
murah - cheap
saya mau beli.... - i want to buy....




this is gonna be so useful if ya wanna shop in Indonesia!! heh.




anyway, posted this up to show my dear "ass" how the library in school look lik.. coz most of the time i'm there... ;p it is very safe ok!! haha
i'm like a soon-to-be permanent resident in the central library.

Check out the no. of ppl mugging in the library... it is close to filled!!!
all e chao muggers..
okie.. including myself.




finally manage to squeeze out some time to go out with my "ass" and have a nice lunch at fish and co!

the mermaid freeze was yummy... its sorta mango mix with carrot.. sounds wierd but taste good!

was running out of contacts lenses, so went to buy after lunch.

ask my ass to pick the color for me... (was expecting some normal color lik brown or grey or something..)

guess what.. *drum rolls*

he picked groovy green!!!~

erm... so dun be shock the next time ya see me....;p

i wanna go perm my hair soon.

just waiting for my stupid hair to grow longer. any idea how to make hair grow faster? apart from doing hair extension....?

imagine someone else's hair on ya head. gross.

and i'm planning to go wash my hair with beer soon! its proven effective by shape magazine that it'll give more shiny and silky hair.

its time i start pampering myself and spend more time beautifying myself.. =P

my life's been really routine these days.

apart from going for dinners and going to sch, the rest of my free time i'm just stoning arnd, nua-ing in my sofa watching cable, snacking away or attempting to study for my test on fri. (gave up doing econs hmwk coz i just dunno what the shit the question wants. )

trust me to major that. gonna die so horribly in it.

heard shao's gonna major econs too?

haha.. so can forget bout asking me to teach you k. i totally suck at it. big time!

Sometimes we fail when we try
too hard.

it really surprises me how silly a person i've become.

since when have i became such a nuisance and irritant.

i hate myself getting so work up over little small things.

i hate myself for being so over-protective over others.

i hate myself worrying over nothing.

i hate myself being this way.

i hate it.

this is so not me.

i'm never so negative. yet i find it so hard to be my carefree self again.

i feel so weak. too weak for my own good.

i better pick up the pieces of
myself and piece it up before i crumble further.

______________________________________

i wanna go Japan!!! i wanna travel with andy and his family at the end of the year.

trust mum to reject my request. I've been hell of a good daughter. No sleepovers. Coming home before 12 ( try my best). This been going on for months alr. been obliging to all her stupid rules and now i cant even go hols. i'm going crazy being a good girl. All i have been trying to do was be a good girl and all i get is this. what the hell is this world coming to?

i really want to be drunk just for a night.
hardly even had the chance to drink alr.

maybe just sip a few mouths?
i just wanna let my brain take a break. ( thou sadly my body will suffer from the toxics)
its been working too hard for its own good.

i swear to my holy mother god that i will never go join an organising comm ever.

fucked up leader.

incompetent, naive, woman that doesnt know how to lead her ppl.

if only i didnt join i'll be sitting at the judges table, shaking my leg and watching the performance.

instead of rushing up work now, the nite before, making horrible sash for the crowning of title winners tomoro. and get irritated by the ass in the night who only know how to talk and make things difficult for ppl.

so irritated.

and i'm still doing work at this hr when i'm down with a stupid fever.

how fantastic.

i'm really trying so damn damn hard to be the almost perfect girl.

i know i aint.

but i really do all i can to be one.

i'm juz scared i cant live up to ya expectation some day.

many thanks to everyone who turned up for my surprise bday party,

who all play a part and put in much effort and work to make it a memorable night for me.

of course, all these wouldnt have happened without him.

all the plannings, decorations, surprises, cakes, flowers, dinner, the wonderful ambience and effect, everyone all dressed up for the party, making me feeling lik a cinderella.

He, i shall stick with

thru thick and thin.

i know some werent enjoying themselves at all that night.

each has their own issues to ponder, own problems to solve,

own misery to wallow themselves in.

But i really wanna thank them, for putting aside their feelings, their weaknesses, their sadness,

turning up for the party, put up a brave front and face all of us with a smile.

thou it may be a weak smile, but i really appreciated the efforts to make my party a fulfilling and warming one.

i've ever been in a group, acting strong, acting as if everything was normal, yet my heart was bleeding, crying.

it takes lots of courage and strength to stop the hateful tears from spilling out.

so i really understand how it feels and how much you all have done for me.

especially the heartbroken one.

i dun blame the loving couple who end up quarrelling in the midst of my bday.

i understand that shit do happened.

and always at the wrong time.

not everyone can control their anger and emotions as well as others.

i had my cinderella night.

i had my splendid and satisfying dinner at mandai orchid garden with my beloved one.

i had recieved a priceless gift from him,

a collection of us

heart-felt words from him.

this is my year 2006.

n i'm lovin' it.

---------------------------------------------------------

make a decision, follow it

and never regret it.

live life the way you choose to be.

Just went to meet the manager of Adidas yesterday.

wow... super happy now.. they're coming in as major sponsor man..

sponsoring apparels.. bikinis.. hopefully shoes as well..

plus prizes for the winners..

and we're even having a MR/MISS ADIDAS title winner eh!!

how fantastic is that.. win that and will get tonnes of ADIDAS stuff!!!

damn.

i should have waited and join this year instead.. >.<

but den again, i wont be the marketing head and goodness know who the sponsors are alr.. but this year the pageant ppl really damn previleged.

lots of goodies for them.

Hope i can cling the deal with perfect in black too!

hmm... okie.. some random photos.

had prob uploading the photos each time.

so cant really have them in order.

here are the photos taken with my supporters when i'm having my dance competition at marina square!

we won $300 for our short skit performance!

our team suppose to go for a big feast together.. wonder when the feast is coming.. think our captain ran away with our money!!!!!!!

haha.. nd had a big pimple and attempted to cover it with a plaster.. ;p

so silly looking.. hahaha!

___________________________________

somehow i'm feeling the impact of how life will be as one gets older. no more fun, no more excitement, no more anticipation of spices in your life.

its just more work, more responsibility, more worries.

you gotta ponder and think of all the consequences before acting on anything, because ppl will no longer forgive you for acting on implusion.

things you gotta do, things you gotta stop doing.

no one will understand if you're ignorant or not. No one will put themselves in your shoes and think for you.

people doesnt understand what you need or what you want. humans are selfish. they only care bout what they need and want. who's really gonna be with you when you need them?

i'm sick and tired of being an optimist.

i finally found my cable wire to upload all my fotos...
my sotong mummy kept it in the toilet drawer.
no wonder i couldnt find it.
haha.. lucky i still have a smart maid tat rem stuff once in a while.
warning:
so there's gonna be alot of fotos!!
real back dated ones.

this was one of the first few times nd ate with my mum..
and to please my boy.. we went to eat his favourite fish & co.

here are some pics when i was in LA.
some taken when i was bored sitting in the car
while travelling for 4-5 hrs to Las Vegas.
imagine how flat ya ass is when ya get off the car.

beverly hills i think.. where got the rich-ass shops are.. all the reknown labels

nice scenery rite?

this is hilarious.. you can find real ppl acting as super heros and squatting arnd on bins and stuff trying to get ppl's attention..

apparently i took this when i was hell bored in the car.. but isnt it a good shot?

my bro's frens in LA.

haha..mummy, kor and me!
still not a complete family.. cos my poor daddy's still stuck alone.. working his ass off to support this family.
how noble!
n how noble of my mummy to bring us up alone.
without hubby with her.
my noble parents!

i have juz seen the ugliest side of a human last nite.

such a heartless, mean, uncaring, not understanding,

materialistic, unreasonable manipulator.... what is she worth?

nothing.

a childish, self centered, egoistic and selfish girl lik her

dun deserve anyone in the this world at all.

the way she treated you, was unforgivable.

you should be happy,

happy that you haven given much more before realising she such a person.

you should be happy that such a person will no longer be in your life.

its good riddence for u.

why love a person who can throw all ties with you

and treat it as if it doesnt even matter a single bit in her life?

she's a toxic.

toxic to anyone she comes across.

seriously speaking..she's an insult to all women on earth.

lucky she not my fren.

i'll be so ashamed to have such a fren.

its been such a sickly week for me...

was down with high fever for 3 days with a temp of 39.6!

haha...hope my brain cells didnt get too fried.

went to watch JJ's concert on sat...wow.

his concert is fantastic...i mean his voice is really power and the audience were very sporting too..nothing beats having good audience to bring the house down.

too bad i forgot to bring my camera..

so cant show u any pics. >.<

by the way.. i passed my driving 2 weeks ago!!~

just received the actual licence today...

hope i can get a car soon..den i can say bye bye to buses and trains and most imptly..cabs!!

A dysfunctional night,

an unexpected outcome.

a random choice,

a never-on-schedule date.

this is how we've been

and how we always will be.

this is us.

A wonderful view overlooking singapore,

a romantic ambience,

great tasting food,

an overwhelming and sweet-smelling bouquet of red roses,

a delicious big cake,

the prescence of my love one.

what more can i ask for?

happiness is when a person who loves you,

and the person you love,

is the same person.

my colleagues...

3 from NTU and 1 from SMU.

all the uni ppl are venturing into banks huh?

gosh... i' starting to miss my maid BiBi...

no one to pack my room when i wake up...

no one to cook maggie mee for me when i'm hungry...

no one to clear the heap of clothes lying arnd after i try them on...

no one to consult what shoe should i wear when i go out...

ps: by the way..my maid is my shoe fashion consultant!! buahaha!

man.. my maid's on hols for one freaking whole month!!

not even i dun get to go hols for one month..

bah!

but oh well... maids should take a break too..

they've been working 365 days a year after all.

_____________________________________

It was jolene's bday on sun!

had dinner at some seafood restuarant...

a 9+2 course dinner!

haha.. i swear i love nd's family.. extended family too..all so amusing.

~me and jolene~
she's such a nice sis to have..

____________________________________

i walked down the dark pavement alone, thinking of you.

its been a while since we walked the dark path together,

i was a little scared without you beside me.

just as i quicken my pace...

i heard sudden footsteps coming behind me..

my body went stiff for a sec.

i turn arnd

and saw you, panting away.

you actually got up and chased after me,

just to walk that little stretch of road with me.

a heart tat worries and one that cares

i smiled as i held ur hands,

my heart smiled too.

________________________________________

today i was working at Ministry of National development.

i was one of the lousiest promoter today.

BAH!

really cant stand those middle aged ladies that keep asking for freebies!! and complain over the smallest thing ever.

good god!

customer service is really a bad line of job if ya've fiery temper.

oh well, but our sweet manager jessie treated all of us to crystal jade to eat after work.. she paid a sum of $170 over bucks!

such nice manager we have. and she's married to a japanese and currently carrying their first child!!

and she freaking rich... so we're lik all dying to call her godma. heh

wat the hell is wrong wif blogger.. couldnt post my pics.

nvm... will add it in my next post.

its workout time.

after slacking and accumulating all the fats.

went to swim and gym with nd e past days.

actually i only swam, was too lazy to gym.

exercised a little = still got exercise k!

haha.. n i took pic of nd gyming when he wasnt looking..!!!

up!~ down!~ up!~ down!~

wahahaha!!!

today was my first day of work being the acquisition executive of UOB credit cards.. its pretty good money. BUT, it's damn tough too!! had to stand the whole day and explaining cards after cards to the people. oh well.. for the money.. i'm willing to suffer!

_______________________________________

have you ever experience how it feels like when there seems to be a spotlight shining at you and everyone is just pointing at you in the dark? you cant see who's there talking bout you. But you can hear them. every single word, so loud n clear in the dead silent night.

Times when you feel lik you just wanna shrug away from the people, be invisible to the world and live a simple life of your own. Yet the spotlight chases you lik a super star, catching every single movement you make and making it known to the world.

you'll wonder. How disgusting human can be in this merciless society.

once condemned. you're considered gone.

people will not remember the good deeds ya've done, neither will they forget your wrongs.

humans can see all the good qualities about themselves, yet they cant point out their own mistakes.

They point at others in the dark, and condemned them for fear of being the one to be condemned at.

stop acting so angelic for goodness sake. it doesnt make you any more heroic or righteous in any god damn way.

you think you guys are so good that you haven done a single shit thing wrong in ya lives? ask yaself.

humans are all sinners.

juz sinners in different ways.

you have no god damn right to point at people when you aint an angel urself.

my blog is all set with the help of my darling wx.

hurray!

my results was out yest..it was just average.

didnt do as well as i thot i could cos i really put in lots of effort this sem.

thot i could get an A for 2 mods, but end up getting B+.

damn those ppl who shifted me out of range in the bell shaped curve!

BOO!

Met nd in the afternoon, wanted to go for a shopping spree to make myself happy after getting the results...

dear bought himself 2 shirts..one from springfield and one from levis.

and me....

I got nothing!

wasnt it me the one that were suppose to relieve depression??

humph!!!

i kept throwing tantrum coz i didnt buy anything.

nd got so helpless from my whining that he was willing to buy my anything!

heh heh.. but i couldnt find anything much tat i fancy tat day.

wasted. =p

And talking bout the great singapore sale...shopping malls were packed.

hate shopping in such crowds.

we left town bout 7 plus and went to marina to fetch nd's mum and sis.

since he took the car, he has the duty to be the chauffeur and send them home.

went northpt to watch OVER THE HEDGE.

me nd and jolene.( his sis)

first time we watch movie together.

wanted to make her sit in between us and feed us popcorn! wahahaha...

surprisingly the show was better than expected.

some part of it were amusingly funny.

except that the whole theatre was filled with noisy kids especially these two boys behind us.

talk to each other as if they were talking across their dining table!

was telling nd tat if in future my kids were lik them..

i'll smack them.

think i'm on major pms... get irritated and pissed off quite easily these days.

hmmmmm

thanks dear for putting up with me

and making me laugh with ya silly actions!

muacks.

TADA!! aint my blog nice now.. a true toilet queen's blog.

heh heh.

spent the whole night yest changing the stuff.. and i added in the comments function so ppl can leave msges down now.

still dunno how to add in tagboard thou... went to the website for tagboards and they say need to pay annual fee for it..

did you ppl pay for it?

spent the whole day at home today.

had nothing much to do until some sponsors for the Sportsball decide to screw up my day.. >.<

sponsor so little and expect so much publicity in return..

wth.

so end up spending the whole afternoon replying mails... calculating quotations, coming up with ideas of how their products can come in blah blah.

i swear off marketing in future.

not when i aint paid for it!!!

bah.

wonder what got into me when i decide to join the o-comm.

nuts.

anyway..i'm gonna go out to supper with nd soon.

going to eat bak choo mee!!!!

heh.. had a craving for it for quite some time.. and i'm finally gonna eat it.

TONIGHT!!

damn. think i'm getting fatter n fatter these days.

food is all i can think of.

oh well... since when do i not think of food anyway.

random

The girls!

haha.. its pretty amazing how the three of us met and became frens.

how we were linked through other ppl at first and eventually crossed into each other's path in life.

AND....

We have something in common.

all 3 of us are blur lik sotongs.

In rank:

No 1: Cindy

No 2: Me

No 3: Liying

What a bunch of blur queens!!~

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alright...was sidetracking...anyway this photo was taken when we went to watch Da Vinci together..

well, according the them the show was so-so only. most of the twist in the book are shown but nothing else fantastic bout it. I haven read the book yet.. so got nothing to comment.

but after the show, i'm determined to finish reading angels and demons! borrowed the book from nd eeyons ago and its been collecting dust in my shelf ever since. cant blame me coz everytime i read, my eyes will get tired staring thru the tiny lines of words and den.. PIAK! the book will slam on my face and i'll fall asleep with it. When i wanna read it the next day, i would have not rem where i stopped n gotta flip a few pages back and start again..and the process goes on.

-----------------------------------------------------

ugh.. been going to quite a few interviews recently. still hoping to get a stable job soon. went to funan to have an interview with ken's mum yest, for the upcoming pc show.

gosh. worst interview i've ever been to. well, it was an enriching one.. cos we were basically lectured by his mum. we didnt know tat we gotta prepared ourselves and research on pc before the interviews... i mean how often does an interview require tat without any previous notification? besides, trainings were provided. so me and ly were happily appeared at the shop looking good and pretty, thinking tats all they're looking for.

who knows..

(i will not go into details of what she say coz that will be too long to be typed out)

she wanted us to go look arnd the shops in funan... learn from the sales ppl on the spot and den get back to her in a few hours time and pretend to sell her a notebook.

for computer idiots lik me and ly... who knew nothing bout RAM nor processors such as centrino core Duo nor ATI graphics etc..it was totally impossible to learn everything up in a few hrs time and be confident enuff to sell to a scary comp pro!!

i swear it was worse then exams... we collected phamplets, pretended tat we wanna buy laptops and see how the sales ppl explain and stuff.. den try to memorize some of the essential stuff.

we would have given up long time ago if the person interviewing us wasnt ken's mum!

finally after a torturous 2 hrs.. we decided to face our fate and return to the shop and say whatever crap we know. lucky, his mum was busy at the time, and as i had to meet wx to pass her the cap in town, we told the person to tell ken's mum tat we're rushing off and we'll come back another day to "sell her the notebook".

PHEW!!! wat an interview... the longest interview ever too. me and ly stayed at funan for a grand total time of 4 hrs!!! from 1-5pm.

crazy.

anyway, i'm not planning to do the show alr.

I'm not confident in sales driven jobs in the first place.

and i'm too scared to face ken's mum again.

so i see....

all along its me tats being unfair to you.

its you tats been suffering in silence all these while..

i was so blind and dumb not to realise.

while trying hard to get back my place and identity in the group,

i forgot about you.

i forgot how complicated things were.

I thought you were being accepted juz lik me..

forgive me for being such an ass.

To ppl outside who have no idea of the truth, please think twice before you put down your judgement.

it was me.

me who caused all tat to happened.

i was the selfish one tat chose my happiness over the happiness of others.

i am the bitch..slut..whatever.

i wont care how ppl will think of me..coz it doesnt matter to me anymore.

it was my decision and i'm sticking by it.

i juz hope ppl out there will not throw the entire blame to someone..

someone who has suffered all these while to protect my happiness.

someone whom i've let down in the process.

well i guess... the point is..

we all ought to be more sensitive to the feelings of others.

i know sometimes when you all say something.. it was meant to be a joke.

but perhaps to somebody, it meant alot.

i'm learning to be more sensitive.

to make up for what i've missed.

there're two sinners, not one.

hope you guys remember this.

sacrifice for mummies and larry >.<

today was another tiring day...

i was entrusted with the important task of getting larry's present for tomoro's celebration.

went to Toys'R'us in the afternoon to get the mini pool set for him.

i found two sets there..one bigger but more ex..and one smaller but cheaper.

didnt know which to buy..so called wx but she didnt pick up the phone.

so in the end i left forum without buying anything and head to taka to buy mother's day prezzies first. wasted trip...>.<

i was getting damn moody when i reach taka.

first thing of all, i hate buying present for others..cos i'll take half a day choosing wat to buy.

besides, today was public hol and town was damn freaking packed!

head to the watch section to get nd's mummy's prez first.

after roaming arnd for a long time and questioning the salesgirl...

i finally decided on the swatch watch..

kept calling dear for his opinion and stuff..bet he was damn disturb by my calls..heh.

the watch is kinda pretty and classy!

with diamond studs on it.

den i head down to the shoes section to get prez for my mummy.

walked arnd for 45 mins and finally settled on 2 pairs of shoes for her...

one's kinda glam..workish style...the other more of a casual heels.

actually i anyhow picked them cos was losing my patience.

but nevertheless, its still yummy looking!

and guess wat...just when i was bout to leave taka and back to forum for stupid larry's prez,

its started to rain heavily.

good god. another 'sway' day.

camped at wisma for a while.. and finally decided to chiong the rain.

dun give a damn if i'm gonna get drenched or whether the nice wrapping paper that i bought was gonna get soggy..cant be bothered!!!

luckily, the rain ceased soon and was only drizzling a little.

i knew god wasnt tat mean to me.

back at Toys'R'us...

*

*

*

*

*

tada! found the pool set!

so cute when things comes in mini sizes!

damn freaking tired after tat..my back was aching..so is my arms.. so is my thighs..so is my shoulders..basically my whole body..

I"M GETTING OLD! URGH!

wanted to cab home..but there was a bloody queue..

suddenly it hit me tat it was peak period.

damn.

finally got a cab 15 mins later and was on my way home.

home sweet home!

i love my home.. especially today.

well, at least i got the prezzies settled except for my aunt.

hope nd rem to buy stairway to heaven for my aunt.

some korean drama.

she's a korean drama series fan.

but man...i'm damn broke now..

spent 250+ bucks on the prez.

updated my bank book today and realised tat 800+ bucks mysteriously disappeared from my account in march.

dun rem spending so much.

wat i really need now is this...

lots and lots of it.

what a day!

yesterday was hell of a rollercoaster day.

had the worse morning ever.

1st bad sign: woke up with a bloody sore eye.

2nd bad sign: suppose to meet nd at 9 and i woke up at 9.

3rd bad sign: got ready in my fastest timing ever of 15 mins and rush cab down to ssdc.

4th bad sign: for some reasons that i do not wish to mention, me and nd quarrelled. real bad.

5th bad sign: first time we argued in public face to face.

6th bad sign: first time that i was ever shouted/scolded at by my bf.

like how much worse can one's morning get.

dear was at ssdc getting ready for his tp scheduled at 11.

he had a revision early on at 7 in the morning and was free from 9 till 11. so i had promised to go down to acc him while waiting.

was really crushed and depressed after the big fight with him.

but dunno what came into me, i stayed on and waited for him till he finished his tp.

and i'm glad i did. we both cooled down a little just before his tp and i dun wish to affect his performance in his tp, so i kept quiet.

manage to gather watever courage and thick skinness i had and gave his a good luck hug before he went into his test car.

tats when things started to change for the better.

sat on the bench facing the circuit and prayed the whole way thru for him to pass the test.

i knew he wanted to pass it real bad.

and i dun wish to see him disappointed on top of the emotional trauma that we went thru earlier.

Alas, after a good 45 mins.

he was done.

he proceed to the debrief room with the test instructor and after a min,

he came out shaking his head.

showed me the paper......

tat big idiot passed his test!

haha.. was seriously happy for him.

(happy for myself too coz i dun need to spent money on cab fares anymore!)

wanted to go celebrate and have lunch but dear wanted to head home to shower first.

so we went to da bao bak chor mee to his house instead.

we were still kinda affected by wat happened in the morning.

we didnt talk much throughout the trip to his house, and while having lunch.

i was real sleepy after eating and because i slept very little the night before,

my body was protesting. (reason y i couldnt wake up)

nd saw my dying face and asked me to go to the room to rest.

guess wat, i laid on the nice comfy bed and dozed off almost immediately.

before i collapsed totally,

dear sneaked onto the bed with me and hugged me to sleep.

i smiled to myself in my dreams.

finally the unhappy times were over.

i slept for 2 wonderful hrs.

everything was back to normal after that.

spent the rest of the day hugging my dear and laughing at his spastic acting and jokes.

after dinner, nd drove us to northpt to watch MI3.

first time ever! nd was driving with a licence! and most imptly with me inside! haha

the movie was not bad..kinda exciting but with real typical happy ending.

den dear drove me home after tat.

sayonnara taxi fares!

you drivers can stop earning my midnight charges! ha!

but den again.." hello petrol fees."

dear's currently looking out for cars.. planning to get a sec-hand one.

he wanted a honda jazz..

reason being its small- easy to park.

i wrote his name on the car plate! heh.

but on well, i guess it'll depend on the price. average of 30k for a sec-hand car. so pockets gonna bleed real soon.

i hope i can pass mine tp soon too! its scheduled on 13th june. bloody far away. cant believe i booked it in april and the earliest available slot is in june. crap!

i'll get my own car too if i pass mine!

my dream car..convertable! (sorry, my drawing aint fantastic.)

man...i cant wait.

simply cant wait.

but i gotta wait.

damn.